Hello all!
Wow, I am officially a blog slacker. In my defense, it has been summer, so there has been little to do and thus little to report you all on. School is officially back in session, however the first couple of weeks are slow and I feel like I’m being pushy when I ask the teachers if there’s anything they want me to do. That’s okay though because my dad is coming next week so I could use a little more free time from work at the school.
So it is almost mid-September, officially more than a year since my arrival in St. Kitts, and I am still pretty much intact. I can’t really say at this point whether I am made wiser and stronger by life-altering epiphanies, but I can say that I am better versed in Kittitian culture, lifestyle, and workplace. After my first couple of weeks back in St. Kitts I was forced to harden back up and fight away the unpredictable bouts of homesickness and loneliness as best I could. As much as I do have valuable human interactions here, I don’t know if I’ll ever fully overcome the lonely feelings I often experience. Sometimes I am so overwhelmed by the isolation of being on such a tiny island surrounded by vast oceans stretching past the horizon. Other times I get discombobulated by the cultural differences that make it difficult to feel truly on the same page as my local friends and co workers. There is always this omnipresent voice in my subconscious monitoring my every move, making sure that I don’t act too "American", too spoiled, too naive, or give a bad face to the Peace Corps. Because this feeling is always following me, even when I’m in areas inundated with tourists (in those situations the pressure is even stronger to counter the negative images that tourists sometimes bring), I sometimes feel boxed in and disconnected in this little glass house. Maybe today is just a difficult day. I really don’t want to sound too dramatic or pitiful. I’ve been feeling quite homesick because the group that was here when we arrived is preparing to leave the island tomorrow and it’s just another wind of change and uncertainty that I’m not always prepared to face. But that’s life and it does indeed go on.
My work has been looking very optimistic as of late. Charles and I put on a summer camp for STYLE that was quite successful and exceeded my expectations. We had a girls’ week where we got to know each other, did self-esteem building exercises, and completed a community service project of re-painting the netball court. The pictures show the before and after; the paint was completely faded away so it was kind of difficult to see the lines and make them perfect, but quasi-straight lines are better than no lines! Unfortunately, the boys were not as easy to lasso in, and only one of them showed up for their week of camp. I’m not too worried about that because the school year has started and I will have better access to these kids where I will be able to pressure them and harass them until they comply.
The girls were very receptive and open to some very sensitive discussion topics and it was eye-opening for me to see how similar these teenage girls are to those in the states. A lot of them had insecurities about their bodies, sex, family life, and growing up. While there were many parallels between the teenage girls here and in the US, some of their tribulations were also very different to what I and my high school friends experienced. Many of these girls and boys act as second parents to their younger siblings, and a few of the girls would have to bring baby brothers and sisters to camp because there was nobody else there to watch them. They live with their extended families in houses that obviously don’t allow for one room per person, so most of the girls share their bedroom with sisters, aunts, grandmothers, or nieces and nephews. I was already quite aware of this cultural custom, but these girls offered a personal perspective on how small and sometimes unforgotten they may feel. They certainly have to grow up much quicker than many of the suburban youths in America.
Unfortunately, one of my tertiary projects, the recycling grant and feasibility study, has fallen through for the year. Apparently there was a document that needed to be turned in by July in order for the grant to be re-submitted and we did not send it in by the deadline. This means that they grant cannot be re-submitted until next July, when I will be winding down my service. As much as I am disappointed and frustrated by this and many other obstacles, I am sure that it is only a matter of time before St. Kitts has a recycling system of its own. This is a very small island of only 42,000 people, and it is very industrialized. Furthermore, there is a lot of pressure on the government to preserve the beauty of this island as a way to ensure the economic lifeline of tourism. I’m not saying that recycling will be here in the next year, or even ten years, but the seed has been planted with the Ministry of Sustainable Development (and Environment) and I think the work of these two volunteers will not be lost or have been done in vain.
On Monday I went to the school to say hi to my kiddies and teachers. It is quite shocking to see how much these kids grow within a few months time span. Many of my sixth graders are now much taller than me and were joking that they could easily beat me up any day at which I nervously laughed. I am so excited to start up the after school program again but I am also nervous because I am so low on ideas. I’m pretty sure I want to pursue an actual theatrical production where these kids will have a chance to raise money for themselves and make decisions on what to do with their earnings autonomously and democratically. The head teacher informed me that the government is working on having an after school program starting in October which is a huge relief for me since I’ve been so worried about the sustainability of this project. A part of me is a little sad because it is going to be an appendage of the school system, thus certain practices like prayer, whipping, and religious-based life skills will continue. I have tried to create a safe haven where the kids can play without physical punishment or proselytizing, and where they are encouraged to treat each other with respect and are forbidden to use violence against each other. The kids feel open to feel talk about anything no matter how controversial, and they are able to be honest without the fear of suffering castigation. Even though I would love for this program to be continued in the manner I see best, I think it is still a tremendously valuable addition to the school and will keep them occupied, creatively challenged, and inspired.
I will update you all when things start gaining back some momentum. I hope everyone is happy and healthy!! Congratulations to my wonderful cousin on her baby boy, Shmuel!
